You Know I Love You
by Phantastische
Summary: Dan and Phil's relationship is strained because of Dan's line of work.
1. Chapter 1

It was a day just like every other one. Dan gets up, reluctantly of course. He rolls out of bed, tossing the covers on the ground. The cold air hits him hard, goose bumps covering his body. He stretches, a long torso making its appearance from under the shirt. His body is lean and well kept; it has to be. If it wasn't, everything would crash down around him.

His work is heavily dependent on how good he is able to look. People wouldn't be impressed if he appears young and scrawny, but they can't be too intimidated either. People prefer to be the big dog, to dominate.

Dan pulls on his jogging bottoms and slips on his trainers. A beat up Ipod made its way into the pocket, allowing the world to be drowned out. When Dan goes running, he only allows himself to dive into the realm of classical music, for words only complicate things.

Five miles, up and down, all across town, he runs. Fatigue courses through him, but he had trained his brain years ago to push forward. Running is perfect. It is time for Dan to clear his mind of all his worries and stay in shape without getting overly buff. Endurance is key.

He runs constantly, not stopping until he reaches the door to his flat. The warm air hits his face, a welcome contrast to the chilly winter. As soon as the door is closed behind him, his clothes are on the floor and he's running into the bathroom. Next to running, a shower is his paradise. Dwelling on the concepts and items he wishes to possess, dreaming of a pretend life, and contemplating his existence are all a vital part of his day. Without this quality time with himself, he can possibly slip up and fall out of character later.

He turns off the shower, allowing the last few drops fall from the showerhead. This pitter pater of his dripping body is calming. He stays for a few moments longer to hold on to the last bit of release. He takes one last big breath before stepping out into the significantly cooler air.

With a towel wrapped around his waist, he tiptoes out of the bathroom and into his room. Like always, he sits down on the bed and pulls out his phone. While his body finishes drying naturally, his fingers tap away on the screen to the latest enticing app.

He suddenly looks over at the light piercing clock on his bedside table, instantly standing up. His towel plops on the ground, allowing him to freely walk around the room to get dressed.

The walk in closet is filled with hundreds of kinds of clothing. On the left side of the room is normal, everyday clothing to wear on his days off. The other side held his work clothing which are heavily different from his normal clothes.

He pulls out what he decides would work best for the day. As always, he watches himself closely in the mirror, making sure he is still comfortable with the body becoming covered. He messes with his hair, adding the finishing touches to his shirt and pants so they look the absolute best.

After ten minutes of fixing what isn't broken, he opens the door, turns out the light, and makes his way through the hall. The aroma coming straight from the kitchen reaches his nose. The enticing smell causes his stomach to growl. He only allows himself one meal a day so it was best when it is a delicious one.

He comes up behind his boyfriend and wraps his arms around Phil's waist. He can feel a small smile appear on the man's face at Dan's simple touches. After a few short kisses to Phil's neck, he rested his head on his shoulder.

"Afternoon Buttercup." Dan can't help but giggle at the pet name. Phil attempts to turn his head and glare at Dan, but it isn't very successful.

"You know I hate that name." Phil growls, turning back to preparing their meal ;however, he can't help but continue to defend himself. "I only dressed up like a Powerpuff girl because it was our three year and you'd been begging me for as long as I can remember."

Dan laughs a great belly laugh that forces him to detach himself from Phil's waist. He backs up until he feels a counter behind him to which he hoists himself up on. Once able to calm himself down, he talks again.

"Come here, Phil." Phil turns around to glare, but puts down the knife and waddles over in between Dan's legs. Dan rests his arms on Phil's shoulders, locking his fingers behind his neck.

"What do you want?" Phil mumbles, not very enthusiastic. His hands find Dan's hips, lightly tapping fingers over the clothes. Dan leans forward to gently press their lips together. After reluctantly pulling away, Dan smiles fondly and brings a hand to caress Phil's cheek.

"I love you, and I am so thankful that you are in my life. I am even more thankful for all that you do to keep me happy." Dan leans down and pecked Phil's lips again which earns him a smile and a giggle. "I love you too. Now let me go so I can get food in your belly and you can go to work."

Dan smiles and let's go of his boyfriend. He goes into the living room, turning on the television to kill a bit of time. About fifteen minutes later, Phil joins him on the couch, handing him a plate to start eating. They sit in a comfortable silence, keeping their eyes on the television and occasionally stealing glances.

"You have to go soon…" Phil mumbles, taking Dan's hand in his. Dan places his head on Phil's shoulder, needing that last bit of comfort. He hates to leave him, but there is no other way. He needs to bring his part of the money to the table. Phil can't support the both of them. "Will you at least be home tonight to cuddle?" Phil's voice is small and childlike.

"You know I can't." Dan mumbles back. The last thing he ever wants to do is hurt the man he loves, but it's impossible not to. Dan removes his hand and allows himself to look Phil in the eyes even though it is uncomfortable. "They pay for the night. You know that if I could stay here and only be with you, I would."

"Yea…I know.


	2. Chapter 2

Dan hopped off of the counter, making sure to give Phil one last kiss before. It physically killed him to know that Phil was alone and just wanted him there to hold him through the night, but he can't. He just honestly can't.

He walked to the hall and reached for his coat from the rack. Phil walked into the small area and handed Dan some food and a cup.

"It's for the road, and here's some hot chocolate since it's cold out and you're hardly dressed." Dan gratefully took the things from Phil's hands and looked over at his boyfriend. Phil always looked sad right before he left. It was inevitable. Phil looked let down, crushed almost. Dan leaned in and quickly pecked Phil's lips.

"You know I love you." Dan mumbled against Phil's lips, not wanting the closeness to leave him just yet. "I love you with all of my heart. Always and forever, remember?"

Phil simply nodded, making sure to get one last kiss before backing up from Dan. "Be safe tonight. I don't know what I'd do without you." As much as Dan wanted to believe it, he couldn't. With every passing day, Phil's words sounded more and more like lies.

Dan faked a small smile and walked up towards Phil again. He felt a pain in his stomach as Phil only backed away. He knew that it was hard on him, but he never had Phil reject him like this.

"Right. Night then." Dan looked down at the ground and quickly walked out of the front door before he could start getting over emotional. The cold air hit his face, the wind almost blowing him over. The small amount of clothing covering his thin frame let the little body heat he had escape.

He stopped at a bench, allowing himself time to eat the small amount of food that Phil had prepared for him. He didn't want to have to eat it out here in the cold, but it's not like he had that much of a choice. A home cooked meal actually at home wouldn't do him very much good. He'd be late for work and Phil would hardly want him home tonight. As much as Phil protested, it seemed better for him to leave rather than stay.

Phil always pretended to alright with Dan's line of work, but Dan knew that deep down Phil would never be fine with the situation. Whenever Dan finds himself thinking about Phil in relation to his job, he is forced to remember the past. The past that had started out so well. The past that gave a glimmer of hope to Dan's mind.

Dan used to consider his self a loner. He left his house at a young age, desperate to get away from the conservative lifestyle that his parents tried to instil in him. He had been saving up for as long as he could remember just to be able to escape.

When he finally got to the city of his dreams, he found that little jobs here and there didn't pay as much as he had hoped. His savings were dwindling and he needed a way to get cash. He would rather starve to death on the street than to go back home to admit defeat.

One night while he was wandering about in the night, he came across a street which would soon be the place that jumpstarted his career. He got to talking with one of the other young men, standing on the corner half dressed. He wasn't looking to buy for the night, just a small little conversation.

It had been two years into the business when Dan met Phil. Every other person that Dan had talked to in his line of work said that they met someone through their job; Dan was the only one who seemed to be different.

Their meeting wasn't a love story; there was no locking eyes across a room and knowing they were meant to be. They simply met when Phil was moving into Dan's building. He saw him having trouble getting his things from the moving van into his new flat. Since Dan hadn't to be at work for at least a few more hours and his morning workout was done, he offered a helping hand.

After that day, they would see each other occasionally in the hall. They would stop to chat, but nothing more than casual conversation and words to fill the empty space. One night, Phil was getting ready for a party when Dan had passed by the door. Dan, being the nosy person that he is, leaned against the open door and let out a small laugh. Phil instantly turned around, a little scared by the sudden noise.

Dan ended up staying for the rest of the party. They were inseparable the whole night. After almost two and a half years in the city, Dan finally had found a friend. Sure, his 'co-workers' and regular customers had nice talks with him and he usually enjoyed their company, but it wasn't the same. There wasn't a bond there,

For the next year, Dan and Phil continued talking and growing closer and closer as friends. Dan never told about his occupation and vowed to himself never to reveal it for fear of scaring away Phil. Once they got close, however, Dan felt it getting harder and harder to hide.

Somehow during one of their late night movie binges, Phil had asked Dan out, properly. The date went better than Dan could ever have imagined and knew that if he wanted this to continue, he needed to risk the whole relationship.

On their fifth date, Dan came clean. He told Phil everything about his life; his parents, the city, his job. Expecting Phil to run away screaming, he closed his eyes and braced for the end. All that Dan felt though was a small touch on his hand. He opened his eyes, looking down at the table to see Phil holding his hand.

From that day forward, Phil made Dan promise to tell him everything. They decided that if the relationship was going to work, honesty would be the best policy. In turn, Phil assured Dan that he would never leave him because of his work; it was simply just another part of Dan.

A year later and a single shared apartment later, Dan could tell it was starting to put a strain on their relationship. He used to come home and tell Phil all about his shitty night. Phil would make Dan his favourite tea and they would snuggle for hours under a blanket.

Now, Dan could tell Phil was growing tired and agitated with every story. Deciding to keep quiet about that part of his life seemed to be the best way to handle things, and Phil never brought it up either. To this day though, Phil's heart broke every night when Dan would leave and Dan knew that if he didn't do something soon, Phil would leave him for good.


End file.
